By Teresa Peters, Founder of Accelerator Coaching Ltd - Inspire. Motivate. Succeed.
Empathy, mountains, and milestone birthdays-three things I didn’t expect to go together quite so powerfully. But as I sit here, bags nearly packed for my Kilimanjaro climb, I’ve been reflecting on what it means to be an empath on a personal ascent-both literally and emotionally.
Empathy, as defined in the RocheMartin Emotional Capital Report (ECR) (one of our tools we are accredited to deliver), is “the ability to sense, understand and respond to the feelings of others.” It’s a cornerstone of emotional intelligence and essential for strong leadership. But like any strength, it has its shadow side.
This week, I delivered a workshop for a group of senior leaders in the North East oil and gas sector. One leader in the USA had a surprising breakthrough during an empathy mapping exercise. He realised, that instead of mapping out someone else’s experience, he was exploring his own. “I think I’m doing this about myself,” he said. A eureka moment-and one that mirrored my own growing awareness.
As a very high empath, I’m known for being tuned into people’s energy. I can walk into a room and instantly sense the emotional climate. But sometimes, it’s too much. I stonewall-not because I don’t care, but because I care deeply. I’ve learned that years of absorbing others’ emotions can lead to emotional burnout if I don’t create time to pause, replenish and reflect.
So that’s why I’m climbing a mountain.
I’m turning 50 this year, and this trip to Kilimanjaro is a gift to myself-a stretchzone challenge, a break from coaching (well, after a nap when I get back!), and a chance to turn my empathy inward. A chance to reconnect with me.
Each day of the climb, I’ll be journalling with a quote as a guide. I want to breathe deeply, feel fully, and give my busy mind some space. I’ve bought a piece of art earlier this year that sums up this whole year-Ascension by North East artist PREFAB77, aka Peter Manning. It stopped me in my tracks. It’s about rising. About grace under pressure. About transformation. Just like this climb.
Our brain is a muscle. Whether you’re low or high in empathy, you can grow it:
If you’re low in empathy, try:
Listening without solving-just hear the other person.
Observing body language in meetings- what’s not being said?
Asking “What might they be feeling?” before you react.
If you’re highly empathic, try:
Setting boundaries: it’s okay to say “not now.”
Creating quiet spaces where no one needs you.
Remembering that you matter just as much as those you support.
At Accelerator Coaching, we talk a lot about turning the headlights on-looking forward with intention. But sometimes, it’s the rearview mirror and blind spots that teaches us the most. I’ve built a business that has grown significantly this year, coached hundreds of incredible people, and raised a family, with my hubby, I’m proud of. And now, I want to inspire all my kids and clients by showing them what’s possible when you embrace discomfort and take the next step up your own mountain.
If you’re reading this and feeling stuck, tired, or emotionally flat-maybe it’s time to stretch. Not to impress anyone else, but to reconnect with your own heartbeat.
Empathy is powerful. It connects, empowers, and leads. But it’s not just about others. Sometimes, the greatest act of empathy is turning it inward-and giving yourself permission to climb.
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