As a Divorce and Will Writing Solicitor for over 30 years, I constantly write about the need to protect yourself financially when you are divorcing.
I often find clients wish to take a lower settlement than I think they could obtain because they think that things will work out okay in the future or they are being bullied by their spouse or in order to save on legal fees or because they are simply kind people who do not wish to rock the boat.
Imagine your husband or wife says this is all I can afford to give you now and the court will not give you any more money. It may be that you are part of a business with their family; you will find yourself under enormous pressure from that family to take as little money as possible.
What are you now going to be left with, have you thought about how much it would cost to build up a decent pension, the cost if the roof of your home needs repairing or if the boiler blows up? Could the business which you are being asked to leave be sold for millions in the next few years?
A lot of my clients have come from very good backgrounds and have been used to a certain level of economic stability as children. And yet when I see them 10 to 15 years after a divorce, they are often living in poverty.
Many of these parents will have scrimped and saved to allow their children to go to private schools as they did. They do not wish to admit to anyone that they are short of money, and it would certainly be beyond them to claim state benefits, they would see this as embarrassing.
I also see this amongst the self-employed, they are so used to making their own way in life that it would never occur to them to seek state benefits when the chips are down. They would never admit to their ex that they have run out of money. So they go on borrowing perhaps against property or on credit cards in order to pay the maintenance of their children or even their ex spouse.
If this is you, you are not alone, I see this frequently. Life throws curveballs at everyone, it is not something to be embarrassed about.
So how can you improve your financial situation?
1. Do not accept the first offer that is put on the table by the person from whom you are separating. Pensions should not be overlooked, you may have a very low pension entitlement compared to your spouse. They may be able to access a good pension at the age of 55 or 60. You can share some of this pension by way of a Pension Sharing Order. This means that part of their pension is ring fenced and is transferred into your name for your use later in life.
2. If there is disagreement as to whether School fees should be paid, this is worthy of a proper discussion. Could it be that your child attends private school for only part of their education? Have you thought about asking the school for a bursary or scholarship?
3. You both need to calculate exactly how much money you will need to live. This includes everything from mortgage payments to haircuts, car repairs, car tax and insurance, school uniforms, school trips school lunches pocket money…
4. Have you claimed all welfare benefits to which you are entitled?
If you are on a low income, you should apply for child benefit, even if you are selfemployed. You should apply for universal credit and council tax benefit.
Your embarrassment about being on these benefits should be weighed against the needs of your children. It can be very stressful for them, and you, to go without because their absent parent is not paying their way.
I see my role as being to support my clients to seek the best deal possible for now, for their future and for their children.
It is for this reason that I have set up our “Next Steps in Divorce” advice sessions. The aim is to give you an overview as to your entitlement and to help you prepare your case.
If you require any further advice contact me, Jacqueline Emmerson at enquiries@ emmersons-solicitors.co.uk