Weddingphobia!

It is an actual thing and not to be confused with Gamophobia; the fear of commitment or the irrational fear of marriage.

Weddings can scare the living daylights out of people. As a guest we experience an element of wedding phobia; we all get to that phase in our life when we dread another invitation falling on the doormat, the average expense for an individual guest to participate in a wedding hit £500 in 2018! But the persistent, uncontrollable, irrational fear a couple can feel is significant; being on show, standing up in front of everyone but most relevant of all, the expectation that has developed over hundreds of years of tradition. So many people choose not to get married, granted some just don’t believe in marriage but others? I have learnt over the years, it is not the act of marriage that concerns them, most people have lived as a married couple for years but have never made it ‘official’. So, why not get married? It comes down to that one word ‘wedding’ and the connotations it throws up plus all that expense, time, stress and effort, so they give way to the fear and say they’ll do it in a few years or it’s not for them or the times not right.

I have planned weddings for many years with a diverse collection of amazing clients, some of which came to the planning of their wedding after many moons together following years of discussion, to wed or not to wed. I also plan weddings for couples facing terminal illness, couples who have always wanted to get married but never had the ‘wedding’ but in facing the knowledge they will part wish to be tied together forever.

I meet many people with weddingphobia quite often, they like the idea of marriage but aren’t keen on the wedding bit. Marriage is a mindset and is not for all but for most of us we wish to be legally bound to our partner in the act of marriage, however, many struggle with that huge hurdle.

So, let’s remove the ‘wedding’. We live in an abundant era, so much choice and versatility that we can create our own story exactly how we wish. As a wedding planner I constantly bring people back to the ceremony, this is the ‘wedding’ and the element that bonds you in marriage. The ceremony is the only element you require along with a couple of witnesses and a registrar/priest. The rest of the day or period following doesn’t have to be a huge traditional celebration or change who you are for that day or be this big show and display in front of everyone you know. Although I am doing myself out of a job here, you can literally get married in your lunch hour, kiss and hop off together into the sunset to enjoy your happily ever after. Want the big shebang but hate the thought of it, again remove the wedding tag, filter the word wedding from your thoughts and create your union exactly how you wish to celebrate it.

Forget what is expected and forget about tradition; go forth and make your own wedding rule book and dissolve the fear,