The Last Word

Issue 80

We are now in the midst of the joyous Platinum Jubilee celebrations, it having been predicted that more than 10 million people would be attending street parties. No doubt many more will be filling pubs, clubs and restaurants. More than 60,000 communities registered to host Big Jubilee Lunches on June 5.

There will be similar celebrations across the world. All a fitting tribute to Her Majesty the Queen, the longest reigning British monarch and the longest serving female head of state in the history of the world.

The Jubilee is a deserved celebration for H M and a relief from the grief of bereavement and the tribulations caused by members of the Royal family. This is a time when the Queen can choose which royal duties she feels able to perform – not reading the Queen’s speech in Parliament but yes to the Windsor Horse Show (almost in the back garden). It was no sacrifice to send apologies to Albert Square and depute Charles and Camilla to visit the Queen Vic.

The celebrations will give the media and the public some respite from reprisals following Partygate, calls for a windfall tax and the court dramas of Wagatha Christie and Amber with the Pirate of the Caribbean.

Partying will no doubt have an impact upon waistlines. We are getting used to seeing calorie counts on menus as well as supermarket shelves. Banning of Bogof offers was government policy but reversed on the basis that rise in inflation and fuel poverty mean that food banks and bogofs are the only way some can afford to eat.

The latest figures for the UK show that 63.7% of adults are considered overweight (and 29% of those to be obese). How do we compare with other countries?

Germany 25.7% obese France 23.2% obese Italy 22.9% obese However, by comparison China is 6.6% obese and Japan 4.4% obese. Perhaps it is to do with metabolism but it is not encouraging to be the fattest country in Europe. Following the festivities the agenda will get back to fitness without fatness, ban the bogof and introduce the 9pm watershed for junk food advertising. The aforementioned libel cases show that there is little difference between showcase defamation trials on both sides of the Atlantic save for this. In the Depp case, the protagonists are themselves well known for their film careers whereas Rebekah Vardy and Colleen Rooney are famous only from the ‘reflected glorify’ of being WAGs, married to well known footballers. They invent their own vainglorious celebrity through the self-aggrandisement of social media.

What a spectacle, with the media packed into the court to comment on the outfits, make up and hairstyles and to mock the unimpressive testimony of the witnesses and the trivia of texts and instagram. At least some lawyers and the judges are making hay while the sun shines.

And coincidentally my judicial career must end imminently due to reaching the designated age – I am told that my 31 years as a Judge beats most in the system. Shall I now apply to be a judge on Strictly, BGT, Dancing on Ice or The Voice? No doubt Masterchef would be more satisfying!

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