It's Christmas time. Again. Yes, Christmases do seem to come around quicker each year. And yes, we're all another year older. But don't worry. It's Christmas! Even though the rest of the world seems to want us to...
I read an article a week or two ago. It was entitled (something like), ‘Should We Be Worried About Toilet Waste Falling On Us From Aeroplanes?’ Before the article then rattled on for a few hundred words about the probability of such a thing actually happening. I thought about rewriting the article myself. As follows: ‘Should We Be Worried About Toilet Waste Falling On Us From Aeroplanes?’ ‘No’. But I guess a one word article isn’t really an article at all now, is it? Hmmm. Worry is real. Worry can be defined as something that we feel anxious or troubled about relating to an actual (real) or potential (not currently real) problem or occurrence. And as I now look closer at the subject of worrying, here are a couple of things to worry about – I mean think about – on the subject of worry.
1. With regards to any occurrence we ever worry about, whether that occurrence is actual (real) or potential (not currently real), no actual outcome is ever changed – in any way whatsoever – by our worrying about it.
2. Around 90% of the things we worry about never ever happen.
So there we go. Two reasons not to worry. First because the act of worrying has zero effect – on anything. Apart perhaps from stealing your energy and making you unhappy. And second because almost everything you or I worry about never actually comes to fruition.
But even if we do think about these two things being true. Even if we internalise them so that we ‘know’ them to be true. Most of us will still worry. Even a little bit. But why?
The Worry Umbrella.
Worry can actually have a purpose. Worry can help prepare us emotionally for negative outcomes. I do get that.
I also get that we can now explore whether this apparently negative perspective is healthy or unhealthy. And we can even ponder, as someone suggested to me just a few days ago, whether all worrying is like walking around in the sunshine with an umbrella up, waiting for it to rain.
I get all that. When I think of all that I can almost feel the pendulum of my thoughts swinging back and forth between acknowledging the pseudo-sense of preparing myself for something bad, and the non-sense of expending energy and sacrificing happiness fantasising about something that is hugely unlikely to actually occur.
So what should we do? Should we try to worry less? And if so – how?
How To Worry Less.
Nothing that anybody could ever write in answer to the conundrum, ‘How to worry less’ would ever be complete or relevant to all. But as I have read lots of suggestions, here are the three things that stayed with me most vividly on the subject.
1. Just Start. Worry can lead to paralysis. It can lead to you procrastinating aspects of, or avoiding altogether, the thing you’re worried about. And the reasons I think that ‘just start’ is good advice is because the worst thing you think will happen probably won’t. And even if it does – you’ll have learned something.
2. Say it Out Loud. ‘Takes a bit of bravery this. Talking to someone. But you know what, just by saying what you are worried about – storytelling the scenario you fear the most out loud – you are very likely to realise how unlikely or illogical a great deal of your thinking actually is. The other person may say nothing at all. Because they may realise, that you just realised, that you really shouldn’t be fretting at all.
3. Move. Exercise. Think about and focus on fitness. Build a fitness routine. Do this by putting regular daily exercise in your diary before anything else. And hold yourself to account by, for example, joining classes. Because that way, the other people in the class will expect to see you. And you are less likely to let them – and yourself – down. Exercise sounds a bit left field as a way to worry less. But it’s such a distraction that, honestly, if you exercise routinely, a lot of your worries may just evaporate.
So in summary, when people say (something like), ‘Don’t worry, it’s Christmas’ – you can question the logic and the connectedness of such a statement if you like. And keep on worrying.
But let’s face it, there’s illogic everywhere. Aeroplane toilets are not going to drop anything on your head. And nine out of ten of those other things you might be worrying about aren’t going to happen either. So honestly, try not to overthink the logic of the statement. Not least because the sentiment really is rather lovely.
Don’t worry – it’s Christmas.
