By Teresa Peters, Founder of Accelerator Coaching Ltd
“Nobody likes change.” I was running a workshop when someone said it, and every head in the room nodded. I challenged it there and then, and the conversation that followed has stayed with me ever since.
Stephen Covey talked about beginning with the end in mind, and focusing on what we can control. It is good advice, but pivotal moments in life rarely arrive on our terms. They tend to arrive on their own schedule, whether we are ready or not.
Perhaps you know this feeling. Children leaving home. Ageing parents who suddenly need more from you. The loss of someone close. A milestone birthday that makes you stop and take stock. A quiet realisation that retirement is no longer decades away but something you actually need to plan for. These moments land differently for all of us, but almost everyone recognises at least one of them.
This summer, it was my turn. My twins collected their A level results. One has a clear plan and is off to university. The other has a place too, but is still weighing up whether university is the right path at all. Two children, two very different responses to the same milestone. It has been a good reminder that pivotal moments can be met with excitement, with stress, or often both at once, and that there is no single right way to move through them.
Which brings me back to that workshop.
When someone said nobody likes change, I pushed back, gently. In my experience, a minority of people genuinely thrive under pressure and possibility. I am one of them. Change energises me. But that is not the majority experience, and it took me a while as a leader to properly understand that.
Most people do not like change for the sake of it. They need time to process it, to understand why it is happening and what it means for them, before they can move forward with any confidence. That is not resistance. It is a completely reasonable human response.
This matters enormously in business. We work with teams and organisations that are scaling quickly, sometimes faster than their culture or communication can keep pace with. New structures, new roles, new ways of working. Leaders often assume that because they can see the destination clearly, everyone else should be able to move at the same speed. But understanding communication styles changes everything here. Some people need the detail before they can commit. Some need reassurance. Some need to feel that their concerns have genuinely been heard, not simply logged and moved past.
Total transparency plays a huge part in this too. When people feel informed, even about difficult or uncertain things, they cope with change far better than when they are left to fill the gaps themselves.
Covey had another principle that feels just as relevant here: seek first to understand, then to be understood. Before we can lead others through change well, we need to understand ourselves properly, our own instincts, our own responses, our own blind spots. That is the premise behind everything we do at Accelerator Coaching. Through one to one coaching, and through tools like DiSC, Gallup StrengthsFinder, the Emotional Capital Report, emotions archetypes and positive psychology, we help people get genuinely curious about who they are. Not by accident, but with intention.
So whether you are a leader guiding a business through significant change, or simply navigating one of life’s own pivotal moments, the principle holds. Know yourself first. Everything else becomes a little clearer from there.
ignite@acceleratorcoaching.co.uk
acceleratorcoaching.co.uk